Manners of Salam
*The first to order with Salam
is Allah, the Exalted. He ordered Adam () to say to the Angels, as in Saheeh
Bukhari: 'When Allah created Adam, He, the Exalted,
said: 'Go and greet those Angels and listen to how they respond to you, for
indeed this is your greeting and the greeting of your offspring.' He said:
'As-Salaam Alaikum.' They said: 'AsSalaam Alaikum wa rahmatul'lah.' They added:
‘wa rahmatul’laah’ i.e. the mercy of
Allah.
The
Prophet () ordered the Companions to greet one another with Salam upon entering Madinah.
*It is narrated in Sunan Ibn Majah that
A'ishah, with whom Allah is pleased, said: 'The Jews envy you because of the Salam (i.e. the greeting) and Ta'meen (i.e. saying ‘Ameen’ after the Du’aa).'
*It is of the Sunnah that one greets
his brothers with Salam. Responding
to the Salam is wajib (i.e. a
compulsory duty). If one greets a group of people, it is better if all of them
respond, but it is sufficient for one of them to respond.
*The best format of Salam is to say:
'Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatul'laahi wa baraaktoho'. The proof of this is in the
hadeeth of Abu Hurairah () that a man passed by the Messenger
of Allah (), while he was sitting in a sitting. He said:
'As Salaamu Alaikum' and the Prophet ()
said: 'ten'. Another passed by them and said: 'Assalaamu Alaikum wa rahmatu'laah’ and the Prophet () said: 'twenty'. Another passed
by and said: 'Assalamu Alaikum wa
rahmatulllahi wa barakotoho' and he ()
said thirty.’ (Bukhari)
*It is not praiseworthy for one to
greet another by saying:
'Alaikum as-Salaam' for the Prophet ()
said:
'Do not greet another by saying: 'Alaikum as
salaam', for this is the greeting one greets the dead with.' (Abu
Dawood)
*It is praiseworthy to repeat the Salam three times if the gathering is
large and you are unsure if all have heard the greeting properly. The Messenger
of Allah () would repeat the Salam
three times. (Abu Dawood)
*It is of the Sunnah that one greets
his fellow Muslims with the Salam.
The Prophet () said:
'Greet those whom you know and those whom you
do not know.' (Bukhari)
The
Messenger of Allah () said: 'Of the signs of the Final Hour is that people
will greet one another only if they know them.' (Bukhari)
*In the hadeeth of Abdullah b. Umar ()
a man said to the Messenger of Allah (): 'What ‘branch’ of Islam is best?
'He said:
'To feed the poor and needy, and to greet
those whom you know and those whom you do not know with Salam.'(Bukhari)
*When Ibn Umar ()
entered the marketplace he would not pass by anyone except that he greeted them
with salam. Tufail b. Abi Ka'b said
to him: 'Why do you come to the market?
You don't ask about the products or the prices of the products!’ Ibn Umar ()
said: 'O father of the stomach! I go to
the market to greet those whom I meet with Salam.'
*It is praiseworthy that one greet
those who come to him with Salam. The
proof of this is in the story of the three who went to the Prophet ()
and the first said: 'As-Salaam alaikum.' (Bukhari)
*It is of the Sunnah that the rider
gives salam to the one who is walking
and that the walking should give salam
to the one who is seated. The smaller group should give Salam to the larger group, the younger should greet the elderly. If
two meet each other in their cars, or while they are walking, the younger of
the two should greet the other. If the elder greets the younger then he will
receive the reward. Abu Hurairah () narrated that the Prophet ()
said:
'The one who is riding should give Salam to the one who is walking and the
one who is walking should greet the one who is sitting, and the smaller group
should give Salam to the larger
group.'
(Bukhari)
It is narrated in Saheeh
Bukhari that the Prophet () said: 'The young should greet the elderly with Salam, and the one who is walking should
give Salam to the one who is sitting
and the small group should give Salam
to the larger group.'
*If two meet and greet each other then
both should respond to the other's greeting.
*One should respond to the greeting of
an individual if he sends it with another. A man came to the Prophet ()
and said: 'My father gives you his Salam.'
The Prophet () responded saying:
'Alaika wa ala abeekas salaam.' (May peace be upon you and your father) Abu Dharr () said: 'It is a good gift and a
light load.' (Abu
Dawood)
*The
Scholars differed in the issue of greeting a stranger woman with Salam. Some legalized it and others
prohibited it. The preponderant opinion in this issue is that of Imam Ahmed,
may Allah have mercy on him. He said: ‘If
the woman is elderly then there is no sin in greeting her (verbally) with salam;
but, if she is young, then it is not appropriate.' (Al-Aadaab ash-Shari’yah 1/352)
*It is praiseworthy for one to greet
the youngsters. Anas b. Malik
()
greeted the youngsters with Salam and
would say: 'The
Messenger of Allah () used to do it.' (Bukhari)
*One should not raise his voice when
greeting another if there are others sleeping there. It is narrated in the
Hadeeth of al-Miqdad b. al-Aswad () that the Prophet ()
would come at night and greet his family with salam in a voice which was audible to those awake but would not
disturb a sleeping person.' (Muslim)
*One should not initially greet the
People of the Book with Salam. The Messenger of Allah () said:
'Do not greet the Jews and Christians with Salam. If you meet any of them in a
path, force them to walk on the side.' (Muslim)
If one wants to
greet them, let him greet them with a greeting other than the Salam.
If the
non-Muslim greets the Muslim with Salam
but it is not clear what they actually said, one should respond by saying: 'Wa alaikum'. But if it is audible and
clear, then one can respond appropriately.
There is no sin
if one asks them about their health, their family and children, as is mentioned
by Sheik al-Islam b. Taymiyyayh, may Allah have mercy on him.
*It is lawful for one to greet a group
of people among who may be some non-Muslims, but his intention should be to
greet the Muslims.
*One should not greet another by simply
waving or pointing. Jabir () narrated:
'Do not greet one another with the greeting of
the Jews; for their greeting is by shaking the head and waving the hand.' (An-Nasa’ee)
*It is lawful for one to greet one who
is praying. The praying person should respond with a hand motion. There is no
specific method in doing this, for the Prophet () would greet at times using his hand
and at others with his head. What is authentically reported is that he would
greet by waving his hand.[1]
*It is lawful for one to greet one who
is reciting the Qur'an and he must respond.
*It is unpraiseworthy for one to greet
one who is relieving himself. It is narrated that Ibn Umar ()
said that a man greeted the Prophet () while he was urinating and he did
not return the greeting.' (Muslim)
*It is praiseworthy for one to give the
Salam upon entering his home, even if
it is empty. It is narrated that Ibn Umar () said that if one enters an
uninhabited home, let him say: 'AsSalaamu
alaina wa ala e'baadil'laahis'saaliheen.' (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
*It is praiseworthy for him
who enters the Masjid to perform Tahiytaul
Masjid. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'It is of his guidance that the one who
enters the Masjid performs a two unit prayer, after that one greets his fellow
Muslims who are in the Masjid. The proof of this is the hadeeth of the of the
one who did not perform his prayer correctly.’
*It is not lawful for one who enters
the Masjid while the Imam is delivering the Khutbah to greet those in the
Masjid with Salam. Those who are
listening should not respond to him verbally, but greeting him with a hand
motion is lawful. If one greets someone next to him in the Majsid during the Khutbah, he should shake his hand and
should not speak. He should respond to him after the first Khutbah is over. If one greets the other during the second khutbah, he should not respond until it
is over.
*It is narrated in the hadeeth of Ibn
Umar () that the Messenger of Allah () said:
'Whoever speaks to you before giving you the Salam do not respond to him.' (At-Tabarani)
*It is of the Sunnah that one greets
those in a sitting before he leaves it. The Prophet () said:
'If one of you completes the sitting let him
give Salam. If one wants to stand up
to leave let him give Salam.' (Tirmidthi)
*One should wear nice smelling perfume
on his hand. Thabit al-Banani said that Anas b. Malik () would perfume
his hand to shake the hands of his brothers.'
*Sheik Islam b. Taymiyyah, may Allah
have mercy on him, was asked about shaking hands after the Fard prayers, and he
said: 'Shaking the hands after the prayer is not of the Sunnah, rather
it is a Bid'ah (religious
innovation).'
Al-Izz b.
Abdus-Salam, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'Shaking the hands after the
Fajr and Asr prayer is an act of Bid'ah, except for one who is coming to sit
with the one whom he is shaking his hands. The Prophet () used to come
after the prayer and say the Dhikr and seek forgiveness from Allah Almighty three times
and then leave.
*An incorrect practice in relation to Salam is that one does not greet the
other if they are separated for a short period of time. The proof that one
should give Salam to his brother even if
he has given it to him momentarily before, is the hadeeth of the one who could
not perform his prayer properly. Imam anNawawi, may Allah have mercy on him,
said: Chapter: The praiseworthiness of
giving the Salam to the one who
another has seen before a short period of time, for example giving Salam to another if they are
separated on a path by a tree.'
*There are greetings mentioned in the Shariah other than Salam, such as Marhaba.
It is best that one use these other greetings along with the Salam. One should not use these other
greetings independently. Ibn Abbas () said that when the delegation of
Abdul-Qais came to the Prophet () he said to them: 'Marhaba
(welcome) members of this
delegation; you have come with honor and you will not be sorry.' They said:
'O Messenger of Allah () we are from Rabiah. We are related
to the tribe of Mudar. We cannot reach you except in the sacred month;
therefore order us with a command that will admit us into Jannah and with which
we can call those who are in our village<’ (Bukhari)
*The physical method of giving Salam is
by handshaking, hugging, and kissing.
Handshaking: Abu Dawood narrated that
the Messenger of Allah () said:
No two Muslims who meet each other and
shake each other’s hands, except that their sins will be forgiven before they
depart from that meeting.
Anas
()
reported that the Prophet () was asked:
'O Messenger of Allah! When one of us meets
his friend should he bow down slightly to him? The Prophet () said: 'no.' he was then asked: 'should he kiss him?' He
said: 'no.' He then was asked: 'Should he shake his hand?' He said: 'yes, if he
wishes.'
(Tirmidthi)
Anas ()
also narrated that the Prophet () would not remove his hand from the
person who shook his hand until he would remove his hand.
Hugging: Some state that hugging is
specific to traveling. Some scholars have stated that hugging is appropriate if
someone has been absent for a long period of time or if the person is a man of
honor and stature in the community. They used as proof what was narrated in
Tirmidthi, that the Messenger of Allah () went to the house of Abu at-Taihan,
who was a Companion, and when he recognized him, he hugged the Messenger ().
His house was in Madinah.'
Kissing: The scholars mentioned that
one may kiss the other's head, as for kissing the hands many Scholars disliked
it. Sheik Islam b. Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, stated that some
jurists dubbed kissing the hand as the ‘lesser sujood (prostration)’.
Kissing someone's face, cheeks or lips is prohibited and the prohibition
becomes more intense if one is sexually moved.
Some Scholars
legalized kissing the hands of the pious, and hands of the scholars out of
respect for them. In general, it is unpraisesworthy for one to kiss anyone
else's hand. One should avoid kissing the hand of a beautiful young boy. It is
mentioned in the fatawa (legal
verdicts) of Imam an-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him: If someone wants to
kiss anyone else's hand on account of that person's ascetic behavior it is not
blameworthy, for Abu Ubaidah () kissed the hand of Umar ().
If one kisses another's hand due to that individual's wealth and influence than
it is highly unpraiseworthy.
*During the
Prophet’s life time and the period of the Rightly Guided Caliphs[2],
no one would stand up when greeting the other with Salam as many are accustomed to doing today. Anas ()
said there was no individual more revered by the Companions than the Prophet ();
yet, they would not stand up when they saw him, because they knew he disliked
that.
On some
occasions they would get up to greet one who returned from a trip. It is
narrated that the Prophet () stood up to greet Ikrimah ().
He also got up
to greet Sa'd b. Mu'aadth () and said to the Ansar ():
'Stand up to greet your master',33
when he came forward to judge in the case of Bani Quraidthah.
If the customary
practice among a people is to stand up and greet an individual and not doing so
is a dishonoring act, then one should stand up and greet that individual for
this will safeguard one from harboring hatred against his brothers.
If a person
knows that the people who live in an area love to follow the Sunnah, then one
should not stand up, for no harm will result, by the will of Allah.
*It is praiseworthy for the one who
cannot give the Salam for a valid
reason to explain why he did not give it. Jabir () said that the Prophet ()
sent him to do a chore for him. He then said: 'I came to him, and gave him Salam but he did not respond to me and I
felt bad. I thought, maybe he has something against me, so I gave him Salam again, and he did not respond to
me and I felt worse. I then gave him Salam
for the third time and he responded to me. He said:
'I did not give you salam because I was performing prayer.' He was riding on his camel and was not facing the Qiblah. (Al-Adaab
ash-Share’yah 1/400)
to be continued . . . .
