As for blameworthy modesty, it is that which prevents one
from denouncing the condemnable or from asking a question concerning
a matter relating to religion and the like. For this reason, it
is
considered a harmful quality.
As for noble modesty, such as the Chosen One's [ ]
behavior the night he married Zaynab,
when he fed his company to their full from his wedding feast,
and they all left except for three.
They lingered and yet he did not request that they leave. Such
modesty is a most excellent virtue.
Had modesty been a person, it would have been a righteous
one and would do nothing but good in whatever it did.
Definition
In general, modesty is something praised in Islam and is
considered virtuous. What is blameworthy is modesty that prevents one from
denouncing what clearly should be denounced, such as tyranny or corruption.
This form of modesty results in meekness at a time when one needs to be
forthright and courageous. Something condemnable (munkar) is condemnable
regardless of the status of the person who is engaged in it—whether he or she
is a close relative or a person of status, wealth, or authority.
There must be agreement, however, among scholars on what is
condemnable. One cannot, for example, declare decisively that something is
considered condemnable if there is a difference of opinion about it among the
scholars. Scholars knowledgeable of juristic differences rarely condemn others.
They refrain from such condemnation not because of modesty, but because of
their extensive knowledge and scholarship. Unfortunately, too many people today
are swift to condemn; which creates another disease—self-righteousness. At
issue here is blameworthy modesty that results in timid failure to denounce
what unequivocally deserves denouncement and to ask about important matters
from those who know.
The Prophet's wife A'isha once said, "The best women
were the women of the Ansar because modesty did not prevent them from learning
the religion." A woman once came up to the Prophet pbuh asking a specific question about
menstruation. The Prophet pbuh answered her, but the woman persisted in asking for more
detail. The Prophet pbuh then asked A'isha to show the woman what he meant, for it
was a bit awkward for him. Some women even sent the cloth used for their
menstrual protection to seek out with certainty what constitutes the beginning
and the end of the menses, which determines whether or not certain rites of
worship may be resumed. Most women would not feel comfortable with that, but
the modesty of these women did not prevent them from seeking out knowledge
about their religious affairs.
The Imam speaks next of modesty rooted in generosity and
kindness, which is an acceptable kind of modesty. He gives the example of what
happened when the Prophet pbuh married
Zaynab. The Prophet pbuh invited people for a wedding ceremony and meal. The guests
came but lingered in his presence much longer than necessary. In fact, three of
them remained late into the evening. The Prophet pbuh being as generous as he was,
stayed with them and patiently waited
for his guests to complete their visit. The guests, however, tarried with the
Prophet pbuh because they loved his company.
At one point, the Prophet pbuh stood up and left the room and came back, hinting as
gently as possible that they should depart. But still they lingered. He did
this again, until the verse was revealed with regard to the etiquette of being
in another's home—an admonition that the Prophet pbuh himself was too shy and
generous to deliver: [Believers], when you are invited, then enter. And when
you have completed the meal, disperse, and do not linger on for conversation.
This used to hurt the Prophet, but he shied away from [telling] you. But God is
not shy of the truth (QURAN, 33:53). This verse applies to visiting such people
as statesmen and scholars whose obligations and time constraints are greater
than others. They too may feel shy about cutting visits short when they are the
hosts.
The Prophet pbuh was too modest to tell his guests that it was time
to leave. It was out of his generosity and benevolence that he did not address
his guests this way. There are, of course, people who would feel no
consternation at all in asking their guests to leave, and they would do so in
unambiguous terms. Imagine then how pure and wonderful was the Prophet pbuh, the
final Messenger sent to humanity, a man of great authority from God Himself,
but a man nonetheless too shy to request his loitering guests to leave on his
wedding night.
The Imam then said that had modesty been a man, he would have
been a righteous man whose actions would always be virtuous.
If you were to describe your desire that someone lose his
blessing as "envy," then your description will be
accurate.
In other words, if you yourself were able, through some ruse,
to eliminate [someone's blessing], you would utilize that ruse to do so.
But if the fear of [God], the Eternally Besought, prevents you
from doing so, then you are not an envious person.
This is what the Proof of Islam [al-Ghazali] expected with
hope from the bounty of the Possessor of Majesty and Generosity.
He said that whoever despises envy such that he loathes it in
himself, then he is safeguarded from fulfilling what it customarily necessitates.
DEFINITION
Envy (hasad) is a severe disease of the heart that some scholars
hold to be the root of all diseases, while others opine that the parent disease
goes back to covetousness (tama'a).
Whatever rank envy occupies in the hierarchy of diseases, most
scholars will agree that it is the first manifestation of wrongdoing and the
first cause of disobedience against God, when Satan (Iblis) refused to obey God
when commanded to bow down before the new creation, Adam pbuh, the first human
being. Nothing prevented Iblis from bowing down except his envy of Adam, for
God chose Adam to be His vicegerent on earth instead of Iblis. Iblis grew
arrogant and objected to the command that he show Adam any honor, for Iblis saw
himself, a creation from fire, superior to this clay creature. When confronted
with his disobedience, Satan did not seek forgiveness from God.
Enviers develop a mindset that makes it impossible for them to
admit they are wrong. To manifest envy is to manifest one of the
characteristics of the most wretched creature, Satan.
In Arabic, hasud (or hasid) is the person who carries and
emanates this envy, and his object of envy is called mahsud. The Quran teaches
us to seek refuge in God from the evil of the envier [hasid] when he envies
(QURAN, 113:5). The Prophet pbuh said that
envy consumes good deeds the way fire devours dry wood. The Prophet pbuh also said, "Every
possessor of any blessing is envied." Someone of means will have someone
who envies him for what he possesses. Even two street-sweepers will envy one
another. The one who pulls his cart on his own will envy the sweeper who has a
donkey.
While it is believed that envy can bring about harm to the one
envied, ultimately it is the envier who is harmed the most. The evil eye is
generally related to envy, though not necessarily so. Some people simply have
the eye, some type of psychic power that does not require envy. Every culture
has a concept of the evil eye. In some cultures, parents used to pierce the
ears of their firstborn males and dress them as little girls for the first five
years, since firstborn males were so coveted. Many Chinese conduct rituals to
prevent the evil eye from afflicting their homes by placing mirrors on walls to
reflect evil looks. (The word invidious means envy, and it originally meant to
look at something with a malevolent or evil eye.)
The Prophet pbuh said,
"The evil eye is true." The evil eye is different from superstition,
which the Prophet pbuh worked to eradicate from the minds of people. The Arabs
believed, for example, that when the moon eclipsed it meant that a great person
died. And it so happened that the moon eclipsed the day the Prophet's infant
son Ibrahim died. Many of the Arabs were actually impressed that the moon
eclipsed for his son. A charlatan would have seized the moment to get mileage
out of such an event. But the Prophet pbuh
announced to the people, "."
Imam Mawlud explains that envy is exhibited when one desires
that another person lose a blessing he or she has. This loss could be anything
big or small—a house, a car, or a job. An envious person can become resentful
that a coworker was promoted, to the point that he wishes that the person lose the
position. A woman may envy another woman because of her husband such that she hopes
that a marital crisis separate the couple. A man grows envious of another man's
wife. There are endless variations of envy, but a common thread is the desire that
someone lose a blessing. In sum, envy arises over what one perceives to be a blessing
in someone else's possession. As the Imam says, it reaches the point that an envier
would himself remove the blessing if he were able to do so through some kind of
ruse. But what is perceived as a blessing could be based on a completely false notion.
One may desire something that in reality is nothing but trouble and difficulty.
Conversely, there could be a blessing hidden in something difficult.
A blessing (ni'ma) is something that God bestows. One of God's
names is al-Mun'im, the Giver of Blessing. Envy, then, is desiring that a
person lose what God has given him or her. It is tantamount to saying that God
should not have given this person a blessing or, worse yet, that He was wrong
to do so "because I deserve it more."
There is a well-known story about al-Asma'i, the famous Arab
philologist and anthologer of poetry, when he once came upon a Bedouin and was
invited to enter his tent. In Bedouin culture, the women serve guests in the
presence of their husbands. This Bedouin happened to have had a very beautiful
wife, though he himself was quite unattractive. And when the men went out to
prepare a lamb for a meal, the guest couldn't resist saying to this woman,
"How did such a beautiful woman like you marry such an ugly man like
that?" The woman said, "Fear God! Perhaps he had done good works
accepted by his Lord and I am his reward."
God is all-wise in what He gives to people. If one questions the
blessing a person has received, then he or she is actually questioning the
Giver. This makes envy reprehensible and forbidden.
POEM VERSES 59-62
As for the cure, it is to act contrary to (one's) caprice.
For example, being beneficent to a person when it seems
appealing to harm him or praising him when you desire to find fault in him.
Also [the cure is in] knowing that envy only harms the envier;
it causes him to be grievously preoccupied [with his object of
envy] today, and tomorrow he is thereby punished.
Moreover, [envy] never benefits [the envier], nor does it
remove from the one envied the blessing he has been given.
Treatment
Imam Mawlud prescribes two cures for envy. The first is to
consciously oppose one's caprice. The Arabic term here for caprice (hawa) is
derived from the Arabic word that means to fall. It is also related to the
Arabic word for wind. One's passion is like the wind, in that it comes, stirs
up emotion, and then dies down. One cannot really see it, only its effect.
More often than not, following one's whims takes a person away
from the truth. The history of humanity is replete with false notions that have
come and gone. The truth, however, is something that is fixed and that can be recognized
as the truth, if one is truly objective. As for caprice, it has no foundation.
For this reason, Imam Mawlud says one must resist his caprice.
The Quran
repeatedly warns against following one's caprice. It speaks of bygone communities
who grew arrogant when God's messengers came to them with admonitions and
teachings that did not agree with their souls' caprice. So they rejected the
message and even killed the messengers (QURAN, 5:70). Also, God praises those
who resist the caprices of their souls and promises them Paradise (QURAN,
79:40). One of the names of Hell mentioned in the Quran is hawiya (QURAN,
101:9), which is derived from the same root as hawa. Perhaps the connection is
that a person enslaved to his whims descends into the depths of depravity in
this life, and, as a consequence, he faces perdition in the Hereafter.
As a
remedy to the type of envy that prods one to bring about harm to another
person, Imam Mawlud suggests that one contradict his temptation, that is, do
something that will benefit the person who is envied. For example, give that
person a gift or do a favor. This defies the commands of one's whims, gains the
pleasure of God, and protects against envy. The Imam suggests also that one may
praise the person toward whom one feels the urge to slander. There is no
hypocrisy in this recommendation. The purpose is to starve envy of the negative
thoughts it requires to thrive. Being beneficent to a person against whom one
feels envy often makes that person incline towards the envier. In general, good
people are inclined to love those who show them good.
Another treatment is to know with certainty that holding envy
against another person brings harm to oneself. Human nature's most primordial
instinct is to avoid harm. It is easier for a person to repel negative feelings
when he or she realizes these feelings hurt the soul. A disgruntled worker
passed over for a promotion becomes anxious and angry—two related emotions that
harm his soul, mind, and body, and yield nothing for his future. The worker
complains at length and within his own soul he becomes obsessed with the object
of his envy, the person to whom the promotion was granted. He permits the
disease to fester in his heart and cause grief. These cascading feelings will
neither help him ascend in his profession nor alter the past. It is an entirely
demoralizing exercise that can magnify the original injury he feels. Envy, in
fact, can actually damage one's sanity. Resentment obviates one from
accomplishing significant achievements. A person who shuns envy, even when
others around him seem to be passing him by, is motivated to excel. He is not
slumped over in depression and resentment.
One of the interesting things about the Muslim world now is that
it is filled with envy. When Muslims, for example, look at Americans and
Europeans, they hurl criticisms, applying all kinds of rhetoric. Ostensibly,
one hears moral outrage. But the root of much of this rhetoric is envy: “They
have worldly possessions, and we do not.” When Muslims glance toward the Gulf
nations that have great stores of oil, they cannot resist passing judgment
about how the Gulf Arabs squander “Muslim money.” This is a dialogue of envy.
The issue is comparing what one has with what another has, and that only fuels
envy and brings about no positive impact. This does not mean that one should not
criticize; the point here is doing so with the purpose of construction and not
destruction.
One can also look back at the Communist revolution, which was
largely a manifestation of envy. It is apparent in his writings that Karl Marx
was filled with resentment. Much of his theory is founded on observing the wealthy
and desiring that they lose what they have. This is not to say that when the
wealthy are unjust to the poor and to the working class they should not be
censured, but from the point of view of Sacred Law, both the affluent and the
needy have obligations. One obligation of the poor is not to envy the rich and harbor
resentment toward them; and the obligation of the rich is not to belittle the
indigent, grow arrogant, hoard wealth, or work to keep others in need.
The imam says that one way to uproot envy is to realize with
solemn reflection that envy can never benefit its holder. One should also
realize what people attain in terms of material wealth or prestige is from God.
He is all knowing; we are not.
The basis of the remedy for envy is taqwa or the awe of God or
having an active awareness of Him as the ultimate power over all creation. This
defuses false notions of misappropriated blessings. A hadith states, “If you have
envy, do not wrong [others].” If one does not work to remove another person’s
blessings, then his or her envy is in check and is not the kind that
necessarily devours one’s good deeds. Envy that devours righteous deeds is envy
which impels someone to wrong others. Imam al-Ghazali makes a distinction
between various strains of envy. He states that if one hates envy and is
ashamed that he or she harbors it, the person is not essentially an envious
person. It is important to be aware of the feelings that reside in one’s heart.
This self-awareness is essential for the purpose of purification.
POEM VERSES 63—66
Its etiology includes animosity, vying for the love of others,
arrogance, poor self-worth, vanity,
Love of leadership, and avaricious cupidity [for things]. These
[seven] causes engender envy.
As for a blessing that a disbeliever or corrupt Muslim has that
enables them to harm others or show aggression
Because of it then the “malady of second wives” is in such
instances permissible.
Etiology
Now the Imam delves into the etiology of the disease, for
without discovering the causes of envy, it would be difficult to excise it. He
mentions first enmity (‘adawa). Harboring feelings of animosity toward another
makes one prime for envy. Another cause of envy is vying for another’s
affection or love, which can become vicious; and its effect can linger in a
person for a very long time, which is often the case when siblings compete for
parental love. (on this topic, one may read Frank J. Sulloway’s Born to Rebel,
a book with a complex statistical study about birth order and how children are
affected by it—how competition for parental love and attention informs a
child’s personality.)
The Imam next mentions arrogance (takabbur), a major cause of
envy. An arrogant man who sees someone advancing ahead of him will feel that
this person is not worthy of such advancement. The pre-Islamic Arabs exhibited
this when the Prophet pbuh preached. The
disbelievers among the Quraysh, like Abu Jahl, Umayya ibn Khalaf, and al-Walid
ibn al-Mughira, waxed arrogant that this man among them, their own kin,
Muhammad pbuh, received revelation from God. The Quran exposes their feelings,
informing us that each of them secretly wished to receive a revelation from
Heaven the way the Prophetdid (QURAN,
74:52). This was flagrant envy aimed at the Prophet pbuh. When all is the same
between people, arrogance does not show itself. But when someone is suddenly
elevated in rank, the dynamic changes. Pharaoh grew arrogant and envious when
Moses pbuh came to him with God's message. Part of Pharaoh's problem was seeing a
prophet chosen from among people that Pharaoh enslaved and deemed less than the
Egyptians.
Imam Mawlud mentions low self-esteem (ta'azzuz), the feeling
that one's worth is compromised by the fact that another person has gained
more. This also was a pathology found in the days of the Prophet pbuh when the disbelievers of Quraysh protested
aloud, "If only this Quran had been sent down to a great man of either of
the two cities!" (QURAN, 43:31). In other words, they were so entrenched in
their mode of tribalism, they could not accept that Muhammad pbuh was a true prophet
since he was not one of the elite of the two cities, that is, Makkah and Ta'if.
The Prophet pbuh was too ordinary for them,
too much like them, to have been chosen for such a lofty station. This is like saying,
"How can he be a prophet, while he is like us and we are not
prophets?"
Love of leadership is another cause of envy. People in
leadership often resent others achieving something significant, fearing a
change in the equilibrium of power. The envious leader desires that others are
deprived of accomplishment and authority. This is akin to covetousness, which
the Imam mentions in the same line. There is, though, a distinction between
covetousness and love of leadership. The latter afflicts those who have
position already, while covetousness relates to those who do not have it but desire
it avariciously. This type of covetousness is called shuhh in Arabic, a desire
to have what is in possession of another person. God says, Whoever is safe from
the covetousness of his own soul, he is truly successful (QURAN, 59:9).
Al-Ghazali mentions that because these diseases are common to
human nature, the objective should be to transform them into something
beneficial—transform a disability into an advantage, which is what successful
people tend to do. The Prophet pbuh said, "There is no [acceptable] envy except
of two people." One of them is a person who has been given wealth and
spends it toward good causes. Envying such a person is permissible because
one's desire is to have wealth in order to do the righteous deed of giving to
the needy. One may envy such a person, but not in the sense of hoping that he
lose his wealth. The other person is one who has been given wisdom and
teaches it to people. A person may envy the wise because he or she wishes to be
imbued with some of that wisdom in order to teach others. If one has envy, let
it not be of fleeting things, like worldly assets that are usually hoarded and displayed
for show. Desire, instead, what will serve one's Hereafter. This is how to
convert negative feelings into positive ones.
